Let's be Happily Dissatisfied

“In America we don't have these issues,” cries the NRI about India. "All NRI's have spoiled the real estate market here in India" cries an Indian national. “In my earlier team we never used to operate like this,” cribs the team member. "You don't adapt to change," quips the manager. "My manager is too micro managing" complains a colleague. "You probably are not delivering your work properly" suggests the team member. "My company is a piece of crap" cries the employee. "You don't get roses always" indicates the HR.

She always feels that her son does not come handy when needed like her daughter. He always feels that his son never understands his viewpoint. "My daughter-in-law is always frantic unlike my daugher who is calm and composed whatever she goes through" complains the father-in-law. Daughter gets married; She ponders "my sister's son is so good. But my son-in-law does not make us feel part of family and has no respect for what we say". He keeps complaining to his daughter "Your husband is not like your sisters husband. He only uses us when needed but does not care about us or you"

She has always admired her father and mother for their care about her. Now she is married. She expects her husband to be showing same care, which she believes is an essential quality. Oh, but on that he never makes the grade. “My mother has always been honest and transparent. The problem with you is that you never tell me the whole stuff about anything. Instead you add your own opinion,” the husband states with his wife. "You never care about me, my parents and I am never important to you," says the wife. "Well there is no order of importance, I behave according to situation," hints the husband. She is dissatisfied with him and he is frustrated with her.

Looking at all this, doesn't it looks like this world is with people who always complain. They complain because they expect. But, why is expectation a problem ?

If we contemplate it closer, Expectation isn't a problem; benchmarking expectation is.

The NRI should sense that after all, India doesn't have some of the issues that the world has. You believed in better growth prospects here than the previous team, and that's why you are here. You hired the team member for certain work. Why complain about each other.

She gives her father a '10 out of 10' for his care and is not satisfied with her husband who is tottering at 4 or 5. See, for him 5 is his 100% score - for his nature, temperament, upbringing, and conditioning, he will never make beyond 5 on care. This is him and this will be him. There must be some other quality on which the husband must be a perfect 10 and her father won't make the necessary grade. The wife may never be as transparent as the mother, but she may be very selfless in financially aiding the family. Son-in-law might not be respecting your thoughts or believes but respects you.

No one is inferior to others on all counts and no one is superior to the rest on all measures. We all have our pluses and we all have our minuses. No one is zero-defect. No one is all-defect. We should stop focussing on isolated qualities. Start relating to the whole being. However, there is a twist in the tale. As I have expectation, I will be dissatisfied. When I am dissatisfied with others it makes me unhappy.

What happens when Iam dissatisfied about myself. It helps me grow. When I benchmark others with my expectations, it leaves me dissatisfied with others and thus affects my happiness. When I benchmark myself with my expectations, the dissatisfaction created propels my growth and development.

When I demand a '10 out of 10' from myself on excellence, integrity,purposefulness, character, competence, etc… it shows me where I stand and where I need to go. The gap becomes the scope of my transformation.

So, on all matters; rate the world on '5' and rate yourself on '10'.

Not that the world is any less capable or you are super-human but because… Without happiness there is no life. Without dissatisfaction there is no growth.

Proclaim, “I am living. I am growing.” I am happy with the way you love me. For my part, I will find more and more ways to love you. Loving you, Without happiness there is NO life. Without dissatisfaction there is NO growth.

To live and grow together let's not have expectations (which is untrue) or simply let's be Happily Dissatisfied.